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Surviving Relationship Mistakes and Moving Forward

By the time we reach a certain age, we usually accumulate a few skeletons in our closets regarding mistakes we have made in the relationship department.  We love to judge celebrities when they make their very public blunders, but the truth is people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.  And let’s face it, we all live in glass houses.  No one is perfect.  Mistakes are life’s way of teaching us lessons and hopefully we will learn from them and not make the same mistake twice.

So that being said, a few years ago I was involved in a relationship that was clearly a mistake and it turned out to be the hardest thing I have ever experienced.  By the time I came to the realization that I was in an extremely bad situation, I was already in over-my-head and emotionally involved.  And let me state for the record, I am a very emotional gal.  And in hindsight, I realize I was very naïve as well.

So tell us already?  What happened?  Well…here’s the gist—

I had been single for a long time and I was fed up with it.  I started dating online and met a few nice guys but nobody special. Then I met a great guy online.  I suppose the red flags should have started going up immediately, but I looked the other way.  He was attentive, affectionate, generous and passionate.  He seemed to listen to me and take great interest in my life.  He was an amazing lover.  He said things to me I had never had a man say to me before.  And he treated me in a way I had never been treated.  And then, three months into this seemingly wonderful relationship, I found out he was married.  Yup.  Married.  He went online looking for love when he was a married man.  And when he met me, I guess he sort of forgot to tell me.

The obvious question is “when you found out he was married, why didn’t you dump him?”  Great question…why didn’t I?  Well, we did split up for awhile.  But then he asked to see me again and in my naivety, I believed what he told me.  I believed he was sorry.  I believed he was miserable in his marriage and he was going to leave his wife.  I believed him when he said he only wanted to be with me.  I am not the femme-fatale type. I am not a home wrecker. I would never have walked into this situation knowingly. I certainly wasn’t looking to become involved with a married man. And I would like to think that if he and his wife had children, I never would have stayed with him at all.  But they didn’t have children, and I thought I was in love. It’s very interesting the things we tell ourselves to justify and rationalize our behavior.

Obviously, the entire relationship was a lie.  But at the time, it felt like a fantasy.  And I spent
3 ½ years waiting for that fantasy to come true.  You can call me stupid, it’s okay.  It’s not any worse than the things I called myself while I was in it.
The fact is I’m not a stupid woman. I’m quite intelligent.  And I had a lot of friends telling me to walk away. I constantly told myself to walk away but I couldn’t seem to do it.  It’s apparent that at the time my self-esteem was at an all time low, and I guess I didn’t think I was good enough to be someone’s first choice.

I thought about his wife all time. I never met her, but she occupied my thoughts.  And I became continually angrier at him for lying, not just to me, but to both of us.  Anger is good, because it was the very thing I needed to motivate me to end it.  I don’t believe he would have taken any action at all.  He wouldn’t have left his wife.  He wouldn’t have left me.  The guy had a good thing going.  I ripped myself away from him because I needed to get my life back and I needed to feel like a whole person again.

I know his wife knew about the affair, but I also know they are still together.  That is her story to tell, why she remains with her husband.  As for me, I needed to mourn the loss as if it were a death.  I went through the grieving process.  And eventually, since time does heal all wounds, I was able to let go of the hurt, anger and betrayal and move forward with my life.  I learned a lot about myself from that experience, but I also learned that I needed to let it go.  If I didn’t, I would never be able to love or trust another man again.

 

Bio: Debbie Lamedman is a professional blogger and freelance writer who writes about online dating and relationships.  Debbie writes for a variety of different relationship websites including DatingServices.net


Fake Military ID | Romance Scams

So you have been chatting online with a US soldier but are aware of the numerous scams out there so ask him to prove he is who he says he is, so he emails you a copy of his Military Identity Card.

First of all well done for being cautious.

However when he sends a copy of a passport or military ID do you even know what you are looking at?

Thanks to Tee we can share what can only be classed as the worst scammers attempt to photoshop together a military ID I have ever seen and I’ve seen some pretty dismal attempts.  Seriously there are primary school kids who could do a better job.

I’m not going to tell you the 18 things wrong with this ID because I’m not here to teach scammers their trade but I am sure you can spot at least 6 issues with it:

Please note, US military ID has a number of complicated security features, including a chip and pin system … see anything secure or complicated with this?

We come to the best part … this military ID comes with a money back guarantee ROFLMAO


In a Coma in Nigeria | Online Dating Scams

Just wanted to do a short post about the sudden epidemic of people in a coma in Nigeria.

For regular readers of this blog you will know that I offer a free help and support service to victims of online dating scams, so I tend to notice patterns in scammers stories.

Until recently it has been soldier scams for months but with the amount of publicity that scam has had it appears to be dying down a little now.

The new worrying trend is of coma patients in Nigeria. Whether the coma is brought on by a car accident, mugging or illness it always results in a doctor (yeah right) calling the victim to say he is in a coma in Nigeria and she needs to pay for his medical bills because he doesn’t have medical insurance or any one else they can call.

Of course the victim is only paying the balance because he paid what he can but then ran out of money … cue the request for flight money and BTA to get back home.

I have personally dealt with four victims in the past week who’s “online husband” has been in a coma this month in Nigeria.

In the worst case this involved flying him home to the UK (even though he is a US citizen) and flying an expert in from another country, to treat him in a private hospital in London … the hospital simply doesn’t exist, neither does the expert. The requests for money came through the expert doctor, on her yahoo account. Anything sounding a bit fishy here?!

Now it’s easy to scoff and say you would never fall for such a story but when you are involved with a scammer and hear these terrible pleas for help any good hearted person can be tricked into thinking they are doing the right thing and helping someone they love.

Please people read up on my tips to spot a Nigerian dating scammer and learn about the behaviour patterns of scammers.

Also learn that google, not diamonds, are a girls best friend. Don’t just call the doctors number you are given … it could be anyone on the other end of the phone … google the hospital and call their general enquiries number, then ask to speak to that doctor (if the hospital even exists).

Please note that just because a telephone number has +44 in front of it DOES NOT mean it is in the UK. Scammers use a call forwarding service, originally designed for business people who want their calls to follow them when they travel bu now the perfect way for scammers to suggest they are in the Uk when oin fact they are basking in glorious Nigerian sunshine.

Which genuine hospital in the world doesn’t have a bank account? If you are paying a genuine hospital bill then you can simply transfer the money from your account to the hospitals account … HOSPITALS DO NOT USE WESTERN UNION TO RECEIVE PAYMENT FOR MEDICAL BILLS.

Also, step back and look at the bigger picture.

He went to Nigeria for a work contract but either his employers or he only bought a one ticket … sound realistic? No.

They also didn’t buy medical insurance to go to work in Africa … sound real? No.

After a serious car accident rsulting in a coma, mugging that left him in a coma or finding him dying in the street resulting in a coma of course the Nigerian authorities choose not to call his Embassy/Consulate or his family (because they might worry .. is the usual story) but instead call you because your number was in his text messages and they could see how much you love him. Sound like the real world? No.

If they promise to send you money back they are either

a) Lying

b) Getting another victim to send you money (of course you need to keep some and send the rest to them)

c) Using fraudulent money orders which can land you in trouble with the police and your bank when they recall the money after you have transferred it to the scammer, leaving you responsible for the debt to the bank.

There is only one golden rule when dating someone online … if they ask you for financial help THEY ARE SCAMMING YOU.


Dream Guy Propositions Gone Bad

So you’ve just gotten dressed up in your new black dress and Manolo Blahnik shoes to meet the next selection of hand picked blind dates kindly supplied by your friends. Incidentally, these are the same friends who believe that the next guy around the corner will definitely be the one to lead you down the isle of bliss and happily ever afterness.   Dinner is going splendidly well and his conversation is quite captivating, until he mentions the fact that he has an interesting proposition for you.  Your curiosity is beyond peaked. Your ready to answer “Yes” to what you think is a “Will you be the woman of my dreams type of question, when out of his mouth spills a torrid proposition of “Will you fulfill my needs when my wife doesn’t?

Unbelievable! He’s asking you to be the side of mashed potatoes to his wife’s meatloaf.  But for the fact that you are dining in a 5 star restaurant, you would indeed strangle him with your fine cloth dinner napkin.  Just when you thought you had a great catch on the line, he turns out to be a big fat fish of disappointment.  Because lying and infidelity come easy to him, he can’t understand why you’re so offended by this obviously juicy opportunity that any woman would just wait in line to snatch up.  He also casually mentions that he realizes why you might be disheartened by the fact that he is married and off the market, but believes that love can sometimes be betrayals best friend.  This blind catch of the day must most certainly be “Out to Lunch indeed!”

If your dream date has gone from bad to worse before dessert is even served, take heart and know that you’re not alone.  You begin to wonder if all men are callous cold hearted selfish snakes.  It is not surprising to learn that half of all blind dates and internet dating experiences fizzle out before they pass go or at least are as uncomfortable as hell.  It’s generally either a front row seat to hours of boredom or a one way ticket to “all about me island” where you have to listen to an epic dissertation about how his animal magnetism draws chicks to him like bees to honey.

The benefits of double dating at least provide you a way of getting out of dodge or arranging a fake cell phone call to your table.   Show me a blind date that goes well and I’ll show you a professional colorblind florist. They just don’t exist.  At the end of the night you’re left with dashed hopes and filthy propositions.

Tiersa Buckley writes for the dating blogs on DatingOnline.net and DatingSite.org where daily dating tips and advice are provided. Her stories present a humorous twist on today’s dating dilemmas!


How to Get a Date?

Very few people want to be alone, so why are you?

Perhaps you are perfectly happy being single but if you are reading this post then it might be a hint to yourself that you are ready to date again.

If you have reached the ‘I’ll never meet anyone’ stage or you seem un-dateable, you have to figure out why before you should start looking for a date.

There are various elements that involve how to successfully get a date. Let’s explore a few of these options in more detail below.

Would You Want to Go Out With Yourself?

Take a good deep look at yourself. Not just physically, but emotionally and mentally as well. Are you ready to date again? You may have gone through a divorce or a really harsh break up, so you may not be ready to move on emotionally and invest that many feelings into one person again. Are you afraid of relationships or love? Physically, you may have given up on your appearances because you feel like you are un-dateable. If you are looking to get over your ex, doing physical activity will not just make you feel better about yourself but it will also help you to meet new people. By meeting new friends you will start letting go of your emotional problems and stress, this will start gearing your attention towards dating and finding someone new in your life.

Do You Want Someone to Approach You?

After you decide you are ready to date again and begin feeling confident people will begin to notice, because self confidence is always an attractive quality.  When people begin to notice you and pay you attention how are you responding? Does your body language say “Hey, come on over” or is it saying “Not interested in the slightest”? When someone shows a slight interest in you, your body language must be able to respond. Without a flash of a smile or a playful nod of the head, people will be afraid to approach you. The best way to overcome this is by testing out the waters. Start smiling, laughing and inviting people into your life, even if it’s just as new friends. This will help you to practice in order to snag yourself a date.

Remember Who You Are Talking to

Men and women communicate differently. If you are talking to a man, do not pretend he is your best girl friend. You may talk his ear off so much that he forgets to even ask you out. If you are talking to a woman, you have to remember that she likes it if you take an interest in her. If you seem uninterested in what she has to say, there is little reason for her to take this conversation to the next level. Communication is key, so remember who you are talking to and how you should speak to them in order to get a first or second date.

Do You Want to Date?

Your will to date will answer whether or not you want to date. You may say you want to but in reality you are not even putting yourself out there to date. You must make yourself available in order for people to realize that you are on the market. Start going out with friends, take up a new course or start a new physical activity to start getting yourself out there. Online dating will help you tremendously to get a date when you do not have the time to start joining new activities but don’t get stuck in the rut of hiding behind your keyborad, online dating is only a spring board to a real date and is not in itself a relationship.

When you are flirting with someone that you would like to go out with, remember to be yourself and be honest. Within a few minutes you will realize that your Friday night movie at your house just became a dinner date for two!

Allison Schleck is a featured writer for the Senior Dating site. Allison is a well-accomplished bilingual writer for magazines, websites and newspapers who teaches Karate Do on her down time.


National Rekindle Romance Week – How to Romance Your Partner Without Breaking The Bank

Calling all country couples and singles, did you know it is National Rekindle Romance Week from 9th to 15th August? This is the week to show your special someone what they mean to you and reignite your relationship whether you are plucking up the courage to ask someone out or have been with your partner for a while.

Many people only romance their partners at certain times of the year for example valentines day or Christmas, so national rekindle romance week came about to help the UK keep romance going throughout the year. This is your chance to show your partner what they mean to you, whether you take them for a weekend away, take them for a meal or even something as simple as running them a bath but make sure you romance your partner.

Living in the countryside provides you with beautiful locations to rekindle the romance in your relationship, why not take your special someone for a scenic walk and have a picnic in a picturesque location. You should also think about making a personal effort to romance your partner, why not run them a relaxing bubble bath and cook them a romantic meal. These options do not cost much at all but can quite often be the best when romancing your partner as they show thought and effort which is always appreciated by a partner and can have a better effect than grand expensive gestures.

You both obviously enjoy the countryside so why not make the most of it while romancing that special someone. You could go for a romantic horse ride or take an afternoon rowing boat trip, thus combining your mutual love of the countryside and doing something special together which will make your day even more special.

If you are feeling you would like to do more to romance your partner why not take them away for a weekend to a country hotel. As you know there are hundreds of beautiful hotels set in charming locations all over the UK. Romancing your partner with weekends away can be expensive but you can find there are great discounts available online for countryside hotels. These could save you up to 50% on your booking, giving you more money to spend on romancing your loved one once you are there.

You could also romance your partner by taking them for a romantic meal. Why not ask when you book your table for something special. This could range from the best table in the house to your partners favourite wine or flowers and a candle to be on the table when you get there. Simple things like this can make the difference between your meal out being an everyday occurrence and a real romantic evening. Most restaurants are happy to oblige with your requests and some will even go as far to suggest other romantic ideas.

Although it may not seem romantic you can also save money when taking you partner out for a romantic meal, many online voucher sites now offer restaurant discount vouchers. These can get you up to 50% off in many country pubs and restaurants. You could use a voucher to make the most of your money on your romantic evening, it could enable you to have that extra bottle of wine or get a taxi instead of one of you having to drive. The majority of restaurants are discreet, if you do not want your date to know you are using a voucher it is possible to slip the voucher to your server discreetly or pay away from the table. However if you have gone to the effort of having a surprise on the table when you arrive at the restaurant as mentioned earlier and have had a special romantic evening with great food and conversation, I very much doubt your partner would even care you used a discount voucher. They will appreciate being made to feel special for an evening!

However you decide to show that special someone how you feel about them it is important to remember romance is very important when you are in a relationship and it should not be a one off effort. Enjoy rekindle romance week but don’t make this the last time you romance your partner before Christmas! The more you romance your partner the stronger your relationship and love for each other will become, so go on rekindle your romance!

A romantic moneysaving guide by Jessica Bourne at Moneysupermarket.com


The Imperfect Partner: Why “Settling” Isn’t Always a Bad Idea

We’ve all heard the phrase, “Nobody’s perfect”, but do we really take it to heart?

When it comes to love, it seems that the answer is generally “no”. More than ever before, today’s singles (and marrieds, but that’s a different post…) have options.

Many of us truly believe that we will find the perfect partner, a soulmate who will fulfill our every need through every stage of our lives.

Staying with someone who doesn’t completely fit the bill is labeled as “settling”.

An impossible standard.

When you see it written on a page or hear it said out lout, it’s easy to see how ridiculous this trend is.

Clearly, nobody exists or should exist to meet all of your emotional needs. People change their worldview as they age. Sometimes your life partner will be out of step with you during these changes. Is it a bad thing to “settle” for someone who doesn’t completely share your viewpoints?

The answer:

The reasonable answer is to realize that sometimes a partner can only be asked to support your goals, dreams, and the changes in worldview you undergo. As long as your goals don’t break your marriage vows or personal promises to each other, and you aren’t dragging the relationship through one financial crisis after another, support isn’t an unreasonable request.

Are you in a place where you’re willing/able to support someone else?

When you enter into a committed relationship of any sort with another person, you should also ask yourself whether you can reasonably support that person as they change and mature. This isn’t a one-way street. Sometimes your partner will need more support from you than you’re getting from them. That’s an expected part of any long term relationship, and you shouldn’t consider committing to one if you’re not willing to make that type of sacrifice.

In the long run, settling isn’t always such a bad idea. If you don’t settle on some issues you’re likely to jump from relationship to relationship, never finding anyone who is worthy of your commitment. Assuming that a long-term relationship is something you want, settling for someone who truly cares about you and who tries to support you can be the key to happiness.

Bio: Alexis Bonari is a freelance writer and blog junkie. She is currently a resident blogger at onlinedegrees.org and performs research surrounding online schools. In her spare time, she enjoys square-foot gardening, swimming, and avoiding her laptop.


Online Dating Scam Victims – We Need You

We need to hear from scam victims, have you been scammed after joining an online dating site?

Have you received requests for money from someone you met on a dating site but realised it’s a scam before sending money?

Some of the victims stories we are currently receiving are heartbreaking but there is little practical help we can offer to victims after the scam has taken place.

We are currently considering starting a new blog dedicated entirely to educating potential online daters of the dangers and warning signs of scams but before we spend time and money on this project we need to hear from you.

Please leave a comment (or use the “ask a dating question” link at the top of this page) answering these simple questions to help us decide whether such a blog would help people avoid being scammed:

1. Did you do any research online about the dating site you joined before you joined?

2. If you did do research what did you type into your search engine (eg name of dating site+reviews or does “name of dating site” work?).

3. After you joined the dating site did they send any information to you about how scams operate and how to avoid them?

4. Did you read any of the newsletters or admin emails sent by the site, about any topic, or did you just delete/ignore them?

5. Can you think of any delivery method which would have given you information about online dating scams before you joined a dating site or were you just too excited to get started once you made the decision to join a dating site?

We would really appreciate your answers to these questions so we can try to find a way to help people before they are scammed and not just after they have become a victim.

Thanks for any replies we receive. We are currently having a problem with the comments sections which we are trying to fix, so if you try to leave a comment and get a blank page please use the Ask a Dating Question link right at the top of the blog to send your answers by email, because we really need to hear from dating scam victims.


Online Dating Scams – Are Legal Documents Real?

Online Dating Scams generally involve the sending of copies of legal or official documents in order to build up the victims trust.

Official looking documents can appear impressive but how many people check if the information these legal documents contain is real?

This post follows on from my last post about online dating scams – First Bank of online dating scam First Private Bank.

Nobody likes to think they are being scammed but we should never take any legal looking document on face value .. no amount of impressive letterhead or stamps makes a document real. Beware of any documents stating they are copy passports, letters from Embassies, banks or legal business contracts.

A new poster on this blog has forwarded a pdf file of a legal contract her scammer sent her for to me to investigate .. be aware I have no legal experience and am not a private investigator but it took me all of 30 seconds to recognise it as a photoshoped fraud.

Let’s have a look at a few obvious errors (I will not publish all the errors or this just gives a head start to the next scammer looking for online dating victims).

An easy and obvious one to check is the bank details noted in the “contract”. They have provided a bank name, location and swift number.

Each bank around the world is issued a swift number, as an identification number. All you have to do is an online search for a swift number list.

These are the bank details provided in this contract:

As you can see the contract states thier bank is ICICI Bank in Manchester UK but the swift number, without even looking it up, is issued to a French bank (circled in red is FR, this is France) … could this be ICICI? Well no, it turns out this swift code belongs to “France …… BNP Paribas S.A. ……. Paris …… BNPA FR PP” .. so the swift code belongs to a bank called BNP Paribas which is registered in Paris, France.

As a quick reference guide you can use the knowledgerush List of SWIFT codes which lists the most popular banks by country but this is not a complete list. If the code you are looking for is not there just google bank swift code list and do some searching.

Now let us look at the wording in the contract – remember this contract is worth over 1 million Euro to the supposed parties concerned:

As I say I have no legal background but let’s imagine the buyer of the “works of art” claims that not all the pieces were delivered so is witholding the final payment. They then go to court with a legal contract as vague as “certain amounts of works of Art” and expect a judge to rule in their favour … let’s all guess how well they would get on in court!

Finally let’s look at the signatures beside the impressive looking seal on the document:

Fist look at the 2 red circles, the fonts are completely different. This would lead me to believe that the top name is real and is from a real legal document but photoshop (or similar program) has been used to add in the scammers name under the bottom signature.

Now look at the green boxes … the signature appears to belong to someone called P Thomas (or similar) but the name underneath is Collins Clemente.  Signatures can be very difficult to read but if you’re in this situation take a look, does it look anything like the name?

Just to show you how easy this is to do .. it took me about 3 minutes in Photoshop to do this (so imagine what I could do in 30 minutes?!):

Online dating scams come in many forms and scanned documents are so often used to gain your trust, so if you receive any such documents (passports, flight ticket, contracts, etc) do not take them at face value … ask yourself are the legal documents real or fakes?

Remember my golden rule – if anyone online asks you for money they are either a scammer or simply not worth knowing.


Online Dating Scam – First Private Bank – Beware 419 Scams

An excellent example of an online dating scam has been brought to my attention .. please beware of online dating scams. This scam involves a website called First Private Bank of Holland (this is not a real, it’s a scam) and a poor chap who’s been mugged on a business trip in Africa.

Someone left a comment on this blog’s article what is an online dating scam giving details of this scam, which I investigated before approving the comment.

The comment reads “He got my information from match.com we started sharing messages , all of them beautiful love letters for almost 2 weeks until he said he travel to africa for a very important bussines , once there he was supposed to travel to my country with his daughter to meet me, it was supposed to happen this week, however just last night contactd me telling me he lost his wallet and had to cancel all credit cards, then at 1 a.m.he called me telling me he needed to pay $4.500 as tax and he did not have any cash. he was asking me to check his bank acccount and wire transfer this amount to my account and then send him the money through western union which i realized was a scam . I did not want to do it , i contacted my bank and explained and then re-checked his bank account and noticed it was a simple website he built probably for people to wire transfer money.”

It was a brilliant call by Sony, who posted the information, and I’m so pleased she didn’t fall for this scam.

Let’s have a look at the scammers bank, First Private Bank of Holland. When I first opened the link to the internet banking login page provided in the comment I didn’t know whether to laugh … it uses the identical layout of my own bank in the UK (Lloydstsb) so was easy for me to recognise.

This is the login page from First Private Bank of Holland

Now look at the logon page from Lloydstsb Bank … look familiar?

Please note that the scammers haven’t even bothered changing the background image of the Tip button.

So what does this scammers website do? Well obviously it makes them money by scamming trusting people. If you click the link on the right of their login page which says “Not registered for Internet Banking?” you will see the following page:

As you can see the page design changes totally and the image capture above only shows a small portion of the page.

You can also see at the top of the page in red test the words “Insufficient filesystem permissions to upload the file specified in FileUpload1 into temporary folder” which is not something you would expect to see on a banks website.

However, were you to fall for this 419 scam and put your details into that web page you would be giving scammers the following information:

Name
Address
Date of Birth
Passport number and expiry date or driving licence number and expiry date
Phone numbers
Occupation and employers details (including your office address and phone number)
Your photo

and then you would have to send them a minimum of 3,000 Euro’s to open your scam bank account, which is a good little earner if you’re a scammer. With all these private details they could do untold damage to you, your finances and use your details to scam other people.

So what was this person hoping to get out of this scam because of course the money would not transfer from their account. Bank transfers generally take a minimum of 3 working days … you would transfer the money from the scam account and then the scammer would need the money today .. you would send the $4,500 of your own money with the confidence of knowing their money was already winging it’s way into your account. Of course by the time they had received and spent your money you would find out that the transfer from their scam account wasn’t coming through and there would be nothing you could do about it.

NEVER NEVER NEVER give out your personal details to anyone you met online and if they talk to you about money cease all communication with that person. Do not trust a website just because someone you met online gave you the details and do not think just because someone gives you secret information, like their passwords, that this makes them trustworthy.

I have reported this scam website to the relevant authorities and hope the website will be removed quickly .. but of course they can just open a new one in about an hour.

People fall for such 419 scams every day and many of the victims are from the online dating world, don’t become a victim and do some research and you can bet the First Private Bank of Holland is not the only scam bank on the internet.


Cached at: 3:46:44 AM

96% Of Us Are More Stressed Than Our Moms Were; Cut Yourself Some Slack

On the Today show this morning, they reported that a whopping 70% of moms in the U.S. say mothering is “incredibly stressful.” On top of that, 96% feel we are far more stressed than our own mothers were. While I can certainly relate (I am a working mom with two kids), I always find reports like that interesting, because I think they can paint a picture of us as martyrs, when in fact, we’re the ones who typically bring this stress upon ourselves. And if we would just cut ourselves some slack, we could probably alleviate a lot of this angst.

Yes, things like the economy, financial insecurities, job losses, family illnesses and caring for aging parents are stressful. There’s no doubt about that. And sometimes those situations leave us little choice in how harried our lives are–at least temporarily. But then there are other stressors that we do choose, like a more intense parenting style, packing too much into our daily agendas, higher expectations for the type of lifestyle we lead and striving for a life of bigger and better that Americans are famous for.

All of this can not only lead to us walking around like over-stressed zombies, but it can be responsible for a decline in our overall health, wellness and happiness–not just for ourselves, but for our spouse and children as well. Chronically stressed moms tend to be more insensitive to their kids (we’re probably all guilty of not looking up from our iPhone on occasion when our kids are trying to tell us something important). Studies also show that a parent’s ability to manage stress is a strong predictor of the quality of her relationship with her children and how happy they are.

To combat this, Today show contributor and psychologist, Michele Borba, prescribed various “mom de-stressors” like giving ourselves a 5-minute “time out”, learning deep breathing techniques, dancing with our kids in the living room, taking time to be spontaneous like baking the dog a birthday cake, and finding a “mommy coach” in a mom chat room. All of which sounds a little, well, ridiculous if you ask me. Not because I don’t think those things could help relieve a little stress (except for baking the dog a cake–isn’t that just adding more to-do’s to our already crazy list?), but because those tactics don’t really get to the heart of the issue. They just give us so-called coping techniques, when what we really need are solve-the-problem techniques.

Which brings me to my point: Outside experts, coaches and even friends are not going to make our stress go away. The only person who can do that is us. It boils down to personal responsibility, in my mind. Meaning, no one is making us live a life of chronic stress. No one is making us work so much just so we can afford a bigger house than we really need. No one says we have to be the class mom, the soccer mom, the PTA chair or the lead volunteer on every community project. No one says we have to spend 24/7 with our kids. In short, no one, except us, is forcing us to be the supermom. The same supermom who is chronically stressed-out, irritable and tired, according to this report.

Ladies, isn’t it time we cut ourselves a bit of slack?

It’s high time we say, screw-it to feeling like we have to do it all and be it all. We don’t have to work so much just so we can buy more things we don’t need. We don’t have to be the go-to volunteer for every school and community project. We don’t have to get all of the chores done every day. And we don’t have to drive our kids here and there and everywhere. We don’t have to be perfect. You get my drift.

Like I said, yes, sometimes there are unfortunate circumstances in our lives that leave us no choice but to pick up a second job or dealing with a family illness, and those are certainly not fun. But what I’m talking about is the rest of our lives, beyond those situations. We are the only ones who can cut down on our stress–not by using some silly coping techniques, but more so by lowering the bars we set for ourselves.

Because, really, we are the only ones who set it so high to begin with.

 

Photo: thinkstock.com

 

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Demi Moore Reportedly Hospitalized Over ‘Whip-Its’; Couldn’t She Have Just Had Some Wine?

After days of rumors, reports now indicate that “whip-its” could have been the drug of choice for Demi Moore and the reason she was rushed to the hospital earlier this week. And here I thought sucking the air out of whipped cream bottles was just for teenagers to do as a cheap and stupid way of getting high when working at Ground Round or Ben & Jerry’s.

Media outlets are now claiming the actress reportedly had a seizure after inhaling nitrous oxide at her home. Known commonly as doing “whip-its,” the activity generally involves inhaling the gas from a whipped cream dispenser for a cheap, quick high, which can produce effect similar to alcohol.

But not all the side-effects from “whip-its” are as simple as that. Adverse reactions can include nausea, dizziness, fainting–and in the case of Moore, a seizure due to a lack of oxygen to the brain. Other reactions can happen over time, such as vitamin B12 deficiencies and negative impacts on DNA and cell growth.

“Whip-its” are usually reserved as a stupid thing that teens do–not someone of Demi’s age and social status. If she was really that stressed-out over her failed marriage with Ashton Kutcher, couldn’t she have just had a few glasses of wine? Surely that would have been a more respectable way to handle things.

Meanwhile, her soon-to-be ex is reportedly partying in Brazil and Demi remains in the hospital.

Photo: nydailynews.com

 

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At 62, Vera Wang Looks Healthy And Awesome In Harper’s Bazaar

Vera Wang Harper's Bazaar swimsuit

Fashion and healthy bodies don’t always get along, but in a gorgeous spread for the February edition of Harper’s Bazaar, Vera Wang is doing her darndest to merge the two. Images from the shoot displaying the 62-year-old fashion icon’s healthy, awesome-looking body have just been released, and all I can say “Damn, Vera.”

The point of the spread wasn’t to show off Wang’s muscular gams and enviable arms–it was to give the world a tour of her epic new Beverly Hills mansion. In fact, she says, she didn’t even mean to end up in the swimsuit–she’d initially envisioned a corsted top with a boyshort or something less revealing. But the swimsuit makes sense–Wang says that she, unlike many celebs, actually uses her pool regularly, which explains her athletic body.

Wang, who is also photographed in a smart dress and a pantsuit, admits in the magazine that the idea of a swimsuit shot making it into the magazine made her a little nervous, stating that usually, she’s so modest at the beach, she usually looks “like Lawrence of Arabia.” And, to be fair, the swimsuit is by no means revealing–though, for a woman who’s made her life behind the seams (sorry, I couldn’t resist that pun), being photographed as the model must seem a little strange. And, despite the amazing images, she’s still modest. From the article:

Asked if she’s impressed with the results, as someone even half her age should be, she sighs. “No, honey, I’m a little horrified. But I still love that bustier.”

Sure, Wang has always been thin, and yes, these photos have clearly been touched up a little. But it’s pretty inspiring to see a woman who’s not only honest about her age, but about what her body looks like, in the pages of a fashion magazine.

You can see the rest of the images here.

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Demi Moore Called Paramedics To Treat Her Exhaustion; Why Didn’t Anyone See This Coming?

demi moore thinDemi Moore was taken to a hospital by paramedics on Monday night after an emergency call, and today her rep issued a statement saying she’s being treated for exhaustion due to the stresses in her life. But after her strange interview in Harper’s Bazaar at the beginning of the year, and her ever-diminishing frame in the two months since her divorce from Ashton Kutcher, wasn’t it obvious she needed some help?

According to New York Daily News, the Los Angeles Fire Department confirmed that she’d called for help on Monday night. This afternoon, Moore’s rep issued the following explanation:

Because of the stresses in her life right now, Demi has chosen to seek professional assistance to treat her exhaustion and improve her overall health. She looks forward to getting well and is grateful for the support of her family and friends.

Headlines are already speculating about the cause of Moore’s “exhaustion”–some are citing drug abuse. But it’s been obvious for some time that she wasn’t coping well with her divorce; in an interview with Harper’s Bazaar earlier this month, she openly admits that her weight has become dangerously low, explaining that she struggles to accept her body as it ages and even “…now experiencing my body as extremely thin — thin in a way that I never imagined somebody would be saying to me, “You’re too thin, and you don’t look good.”

In the same interview, she also made disconcerting statements about her emotional insecurities:

I would say what scares me is that I’m going to ultimately find out at the end of my life that I’m really not lovable, that I’m not worthy of being loved. That there’s something fundamentally wrong with me.

Which, it should be said, all sounded like a woman being totally honest about her body image and emotions in the interview, but given her dramatic weight loss and sudden absence from Twitter (where she was formerly active), it’s not altogether shocking that she’s now hitting a wall.

Reports say that Moore might be in a rehab facility; after her emergency call on Monday, she was rushed to an unknown hospital in the L.A. area. We hope she gets better, and hope that the people around her are able to come to her rescue so that paramedics don’t have to.

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Psychedelic Mushrooms Reduce Brain Activity (And That’s A Good Thing)

In my college days, I was no stranger to the odd hit of acid or bag of ‘shrooms, and I’ve long believed in the power of drugs like these to be therapeutic under the right circumstances. I’m reading a book right now, in fact, by Ram Dass (born Richard Alpert), a Harvard psychology professor turned yogi and spiritual leader who was part of that whole 1960s scholarly cohort (including Timothy Leary) studying psychedelics. But although serious scholars (and lay people like myself and my college friends) have been studying psychedelics for decades, no one has been quite sure just what affect they have on the brain—until now.

It turns out, serious academic study of psychedelics is back in vogue, only with less mysticism and more neuroscience this time around. And neuroscience is opening up whole new realms of possibilities for the study of psychedelic drugs. In a new study, published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, British researchers used brain scans to measure what physically went on in people’s brains when they took psilocybin, the drug contained in ‘magic mushrooms.’ Their results were surprising—but could potentially lead to some novel treatments for depression.

Contrary to what the researchers expected, the psilocybin didn’t lead to an increase in subjects’ brain activity. Instead, reduced it. I’ll let Time’s Maia Szalivitz explain:

Under the influence of mushrooms, overall brain activity drops, particularly in certain regions that are densely connected to sensory areas of the brain. When functioning normally, these connective “hubs” appear to help constrain the way we see, hear and experience the world, grounding us in reality. They are also the key nodes of a brain network linked to self-consciousness and depression. Psilocybin cuts activity in these nodes and severs their connection to other brain areas, allowing the senses to run free.

“The results seem to imply that a lot of brain activity is actually dedicated to keeping the world very stable and ordinary and familiar and unsurprising,” says Robin Carhart-Harris, a postdoctoral student at Imperial College London and lead author of the study published in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

That’s generally a good thing—if your brain took in all the stimuli in your environment, you would never be able to focus on anything. But psychedelic drugs—and practices like meditation—allow us to tune into all the things our brain would normally tune out.

Interestingly, the two brain regions that showed the most reduced activity on psilocybin were the medial prefontal cortex (mPFC) and the posterior cingulate cortex (PCC). An overactive mPFC is linked with rumination, obsessive thinking and depression. All of the depression treatments that have proved effective—from Prozac to electroconvulsive therapy to talk therapy—reduce activity in the mPFC.

Neuropsychopharmacologist David Nutt, who gave a briefing about the study, said the results shouldn’t encourage you to “go out there and eat magic mushrooms.  But…this drug has such a fundamental impact on the brain that it’s got to be meaningful — it’s got to be telling us something about how the brain works. So we should be studying it and optimizing it if there’s a therapeutic benefit.”

I hope they do. And I hope findings like these encourage folks in the U.S. Department of Justice to reconsider its classification of psilocybin as an illegal, Schedule 1 drug, a class of substances considered to “serve no legitimate medical purpose in the United States” which sets up all sorts of restrictions on their scientific study. Considering marijuana is also a Schedule 1 drug here, though, I won’t hold my breath about psilocybin. But maybe, just maybe, neuroscience will have the power to legitimize the study of psychedelics in a way Leary and his gang of merry mystics never could?

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Can’t Stand Your Co-Worker’s Perfume? There’s A Reason For That.

You know that co-worker whose perfume smells really bad? Or that friend’s house that reeks of dirty socks? If you can’t stand these smells and they give you headaches, you may not just be overly-sensitive to bad odors, you may actually suffer from a chemical intolerance.

According to a new study from psychology researcher, Linus Andersson, at Umeå University, normally our smell perceptions diminish pretty quickly after we first get a whiff of a friend’s scent of her apartment. Most people tend to notice a smell as soon as we enter the door, but then the smell goes away. For the lucky people with a chemical intolerance though, that smell persists. And in some cases, we perceive that it’s getting stronger.

This hypersensitivity is due to our brain activity. People without a chemical intolerance showed a reduction in brain activity to certain smells over a period of time, while those with an intolerance did not. The inability to grow accustomed to certain smells was seen by heightened reactions in the brain, leading researchers to believe that it’s not all in our heads–or noses, as the case may be. Being intolerant to certain smells is something we are hard-wired for.

The study also showed that sensitivity to smell impacts the entire body, including the nose and mouth. Chemically intolerant people react stronger to substances that irritate the mucous linings of their nose and mouth, and they cough more when they inhale something like capsaicin, the hot compound in chili peppers. Interestingly enough, the researchers also report that up to 10% of the Swedish population are bothered by everyday smells, whereas roughly 2% experience severe symptoms.

I’ve always thought I had a smell disorder. Certain perfumes and colognes, in particular, really bother me. I get headaches and am just generally grossed-out by their strong smells. My husband usually doesn’t notice the smells I do, leading him to believe that I smell things that aren’t really there–sort of a phantom smeller, I guess. But, I was the first to detect a dead squirrel in our attic once. I am able to determine that certain foods have gone bad in our refrigerator the minute I walk in the door. And I can be downstairs and tell if our kids have dirty laundry upstairs that hasn’t made its way to the washer yet.

Of course, this hypersensitivity also comes with certain downfalls. I must confess that I once threw out my mother’s “God-awful” perfume and claimed I didn’t know what happened to it, simply because I couldn’t take it anymore. I’ve also changed seats at the movie theater more than once to get away from “old lady” or “old man” smells. And one time I even had to ask an employee to stop wearing her perfume to work. I mean, it trailed behind her like Pigpen.

But, at least now, thanks to science, I can say I have a medical explanation for my “rude”behavior.

Photo: perfumeshrine.blogspot.com

 

 

 

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Gossiping May Be Malicious, But Here’s Why It’s Good For Our Health

As much as we don’t like to admit it, most of us probably gossip from time to time. Learning that so-and-so just broke up with so-and-so can be too juicy to keep to ourselves, right? It’s malicious, back-stabbing and reputation-ruining, but that doesn’t stop us. And according to a new study, it might not have to. Researchers are now saying that this so-called “information sharing” can actually be good for our social and psychological health. Here’s why.

Published in this month’s Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, scientists tested “prosocial” gossip, which is essentially warning others about untrustworthy or dishonest people.

For the study, researchers conducted four experiments. First, they observed 51 volunteers playing a game. When one player did not play by the rules and hoarded points, the observers’ heart rates increased, and most seized the opportunity to slip a “gossip note” to warn new players which helped to alleviate their negative feelings and frustration.

The second experiment had 111 participants fill out a questionnaire about their levels of altruism and cooperativeness. When they noticed that one player had cheated, observers reported feelings of frustration, and once again felt better after passing a gossip note to others.

In the third experiment (the most interesting of all), participants were asked to pay money if they wanted to send a gossip note. And a large majority of them agreed and forked over the cash to gossip.

And in the last experiment, 300 participants from around the country were recruited via Craigslist to play several trust games online. When players were told that others could potentially gossip about them, most became more generous in the game. It seems that the threat of being gossiped changed their behavior to be a better person.

C-author of the study, Robb Willer, said:

Gossip gets a bad rap, but we’re finding evidence that it plays a critical role in the maintenance of social order.

Oh yeah, maintaining social order…that’s why we gossip. Of course, it has nothing to do with the fact that sometimes it just feels good to know how messed-up someone else’s life is compared to our own.

 

Photo: Thinkstock

 

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Yes, Even Mentally Ill Women Have Reproductive Rights

File this in the really, they can do that? category: A judge in Massachusetts tried to order a mentally ill pregnant woman to have an abortion, and thereafter be sterilized. Thankfully, an appeals court intervened.

According to the Boston Globe, the 32-year-old pregnant woman, identified by the pseudonym Mary Moe, was schizophrenic, bipolar and had been hospitalized several times. Earlier this month, judge Christina Harms declared her incompetent, and ordered her to have an abortion, even though she was Catholic and opposed it. The judge said she could be “coaxed, bribed, or even enticed” into hospital for the surgery. He also directed that she be sterilized “to avoid this painful situation from recurring in the future.”

Whoa, right? Even if the woman was incompetent or unable to care for a child, the judge could certainly have ruled that, instead of having an abortion against her wishes, she give the baby up for adoption. I’m not one of those abortions-are-bad-because-all-babies-could-be-adopted! types, but it does seem like a pretty good option when a woman doesn’t want an abortion but can’t care for a child. And I’m pretty sure forced sterilization is never okay.

The state’s appeals court struck down the decision, writing:

“The personal decision whether to bear or beget a child is a right so fundamental that it must be extended to all persons, including those who are incompetent.’’

It also balked at the sterilization order, “a directive that several legal specialists said they had not heard of in recent memory,” according to the Globe.

“No party requested this measure, none of the attendant procedural requirements has been met, and the judge appears to have simply produced the requirement out of thin air.”

Of course in situations like these there needs to be balance between respecting the reproductive and bodily autonomy rights of mentally ill women, and the interests of any children they might conceive. And there is the health of unborn baby in utero to consider—Moe apparently refuses to even acknowledge she is pregnant or get obstetrical care. But if we started policing how much care or testing every pregnant woman receives … well, as Jezebel’s Anna North notes, that’s a slippery slope:

Abortion politics get complicated when the pregnant person is mentally ill or very young — but when we start taking away the right to choose based on our own view of mental competence, we go down a very slippery slope. A fourteen-year-old girl needs the right to carry her pregnancy to term, even if her family doesn’t like it — and similarly, we can’t start stripping away women’s reproductive rights because they have schizophrenia. [...] Sadly, this country has a long history of forcibly sterilizing those the government deems “feeble-minded” or otherwise defective. Part of atoning for that crime is to make sure that we stay out of the business of deciding who’s worthy of having a kid.

Besides which, schizophrenia and bipolar disorder are not untreatable. Even severely mentally ill women can get better. Sometimes mental illness is even triggered or compounded by pregnancy.

I don’t know much about the laws (or ethical thinking) on making women in situations like these get an IUD, but that seems like a potential solution—IUDs are safe, long-lasting and reversible. And women who are truly a danger to themselves or their fetuses while pregnant could be placed under supervised care. At any rate, there are less extreme ways than abortion and sterilization to look out for the health of even the most severely mentally ill women and their unborn children.

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Strange TODAY Show Story Reminds Us That “Hysteria” Is Still A Thing

Yesterday on the TODAY Show, a group of 12 teenage girls from New York discussed the sudden, bizarre onset of a Tourette’s-esque disorder that’s resulted, for no clear reason, in all of them displaying tics, twitches, and uncontrollable outbursts. And while the epidemic itself sounds strange and interesting (there’s a RadioLab about a similar outbreak), it’s the clinical diagnosis by a doctor on the show that made me pause–Conversion disorder…or mass hysteria. Really? With it’s gendered, pejorative, and non-scientific roots, that’s still a word that’s being used medically?

The ailment that’s befallen the girls who appeared on the TODAY show may be slightly beyond the reaches of an easy medical conclusion–it’s a pretty strange set of behaviors, and all environmental causes have been rules out–but is hysteria really the right word to apply to a group of a dozen teenagers, who are already prone to being talked about and viewed in diminutive terms? Doesn’t that sort of downplay the severity of the experience for the people suffering?

Hysteria, which is usually used to describe a frantic, irrational, or uncontrolled state of mind (you know, like the way women get) has a pretty loaded background. Stemming from both the Greek and Latin words for “uterus,” hysteria is essentially what medical professionals used to diagnose crazy women with, when their wombs were to blame for their insanity or irrational thought processes. In the past, it’s been used to describe everything from psychotic episodes to mild mania.

And, it seems, it’s still being widely applied to situations of extreme group behavior and unexplained oddities. Like the one of the twitching girls in New York. And to be honest, I didn’t realize it was still something I could be diagnosed with, if I were to present with womanly symptoms, like uncontrollable tics or a frenzied state of mind.

The meaning has shifted away from the uterus-specific roots, but the implications are still there. Linking fragility of mind to the female reproductive organs still sits a little uncomfortably with me–and I don’t think I’m alone. And while it’s true that medicine seems to always be the last to know when a word has simply become too incorrect or too loaded to use–many medical professionals were using or continue to use “transvestite” to describe those in the transgender community–hysteria is definitely one that’s long past its prime.

Regardless of what’s found to be the cause of the girls’ behavior–there are plenty of junior detectives on TODAY Show’s Facebook page ranging from vaccines to mold toxicity to other rare neurological disorders, and I’m fairly sure none of them are correct–the final, gendered, inconclusive, umbrella-term, diagnosis is what’s bothersome. Maybe it’s time to finally get that particular diagnosis off the books, or at least, re-name it to something less specific to my womanly parts.

Here’s the video of the TODAY Show segment. What do you think?

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Image: The TODAY Show

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How Anxiety Could Be Wrecking Your Physical Health

Even though a reported 20% of the American population is now on mental health drugs, we still don’t talk about the related conditions and diseases nearly enough. Yes, depression makes the headlines often and people are finally becoming more open about it, but what other other mental health conditions like anxiety? That’s one that affects 40 million adults in the U.S., but do you really know what it is and how to tell if you are suffering from it? And do you know how it can affect your physical health? To find out, we consulted Dr. Catherine Ulbricht, founder of Natural Standard Research Collaboration, clinician at Massachusetts General Hospital and author of Natural Standard, The Authority on Integrative Medicine. Here is what she had to say:

What exactly is anxiety and why don’t we hear as much about it as depression?

Anxiety is an unpleasant complex combination of emotions including fear, worry, and nervousness. It originates from a person’s often excessive and unrealistic thoughts about a perceived threat, event, or other situation and may hinder physical and psychological abilities. Anxiety disorders are sometimes more difficult to diagnose than depression, and as a result may be misdiagnosed and under-reported.

Is anxiety as common as depression?

According to the Anxiety Disorders Association of America (ADAA), anxiety disorders affect 40 million adults age 18 and older in the United States. This totals 18% of the U.S. population and women are 60% more likely to be affected than men. Interestingly enough though, only 39% of those with anxiety disorders are receiving treatment.

If someone is suffering from anxiety, how would they know it? Wouldn’t some people just tend to think they are more high-strung or nervous by nature?

While most people are affected by some form of mild anxiety over common life events, generalized or severe forms of anxiety are characterized by more than typical everyday worries. They’re often accompanied by specific physical and psychological symptoms. More extreme types of anxiety disorders may cause the person to become unable to perform normal everyday activities, such as performing their job or going grocery shopping, and it may seriously affect both short-term and long-term physical health. A diagnosis of generalized anxiety disorder is given when a person worries excessively about everyday problems for at least 6 months.

We know there are a number of ways anxiety affects us mentally, but how about physically? Can it wreak havoc on our bodies?

Of course. The primary symptoms of anxiety disorders are fear and worry. However, anxiety disorders are also characterized by additional emotional and physical symptoms. Physical symptoms of anxiety negatively affect the brain, heart, lungs, muscles, stomach, and overall bodily functions. This may lead to inability to function normally and may seriously affect many systems in the body over time.

What are some of the short-terms effects anxiety can have on our bodies?

Short-term effects of anxiety affect many organs and systems in the body, including the cardiovascular, gastrointestinal, neurological, respiratory, and muscular systems. Cardiovascular symptoms involve the heart and blood vessels and include heart palpitations (irregular heartbeat) and angina (chest pain). Gastrointestinal symptoms involve the stomach and digestive tract and include stomach upset, nausea, and diarrhea. Neurological symptoms involve the brain and nerves and include vertigo (dizziness), insomnia (inability to sleep), irritability, hot flashes or chills, and overall mental confusion. Respiratory symptoms involve the lungs and include shortness of breath or difficult, labored breathing. Muscular symptoms include tremors and muscle tension or aches.

What about longer-term effects? How can unresolved anxiety affect our physical health after months or years?

Long-term effects of misdiagnosed, unresolved, or inadequately treated anxiety involve the same areas, but in a more extreme form. For example, the cardiovascular effects may include hypertension, recurrent heart attacks, and worsening of mitral valve prolapse. Gastrointestinal effects may include worsening of indigestion, heartburn, ulcers, and irritable bowel syndrome. Neurological effects may include chronic tension headaches and worsening of other pre-existing psychological conditions such as depression and bipolar disorder. Endocrine effects may include worsening of adrenal gland dysfunction, blood sugar disorders including hyperglycemia, and chronic fatigue syndrome. Effects on the respiratory system may include worsening of pre-existing asthma and chronic obstructive pulmonary disease.

What are some of the most extreme ways anxiety can affect our physical health?

Anxiety has been associated with an increased risk of heart attack. Anxiety disorders may also lead to development of alcoholism and other forms of substance abuse, delusions, and an increased risk for suicide. Individuals with some forms of anxiety, such as obsessive-compulsive disorder, may experience physical injury such as skin problems from excessive washing, injuries from repetitive physical acts, and hair loss from repeated hair pulling.

OK, how about treatments for all of this? What are some of the best ways to deal with these physical effects?

Treatments are specific to the cause of anxiety, but can include counseling, psychotherapy or cognitive-behavioral therapy. You can also incorporate physical exercise, relaxation therapies for stress reduction, such as meditation, yoga, and deep-breathing exercises, eating a healthy diet and making sure you get adequate sleep. Medications, including anti-anxiety agents and antidepressants or thyroid-regulating medication can also help.

Also, there are other alternative therapies, such as St. John’s wort, acupuncture and certain herbs, but those have unclear or conflicting reports of effectiveness.

Anxiety may have very negative effects on work, school, and relationships, and may decrease the individual’s overall health. It affects each person differently, and so it is necessary to consult with a healthcare provider for treatments specific to one’s individual condition. Individuals experiencing severe symptoms that are not easily treated or that do not quickly subside, should seek immediate medical attention.

 

Photo: Thinkstock

 

 

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