A Dating Scammer Profile
What does a dating scammer profile look like and how can you identify the profile of a dating scammer?
The photo on the left is one of almost a dozen of the same man and I simply downloaded it from stock.xchng.
This man is not a scammer but how easy would it be for me to create a dating profile and place this picture on the profile?
What if we then started chatting online and I sent you the other photo’s of him … would you be convinced the photos are of me? The correct answer is … probably, yes.
A comment was left on my blog post what is an online dating scam leaving a scammers name. Before allowing the comment I checked on the name given and it took all of 2 seconds to recognise the profile as a scammer.
How did I know this? How did I find her profile? All the commenter left was the name of the scammer and which dating website he met her on.
I simply used copy and paste to put her name into google search and it returned just 2 results, one for ChristianSinglesNet and one for Connecting Singles.
This doesn’t sound bad, only two web pages mention that name and both are dating site profiles, nothing wrong with that.
Before we get into her profile I want to say the commenter who was scammed by this person is not a stupid person, like so many he is simply open hearted and trusting, looking for someone special and reading profiles with rose tinted glasses and a lack of knowledge.
He should have read Behaviour patterns of online dating scammers but like most victims you don’t google dating scammers until it’s too late.
So back to the job at hand, I then clicked on the first profile link for this “woman” (who knows could be a man?) and this is what I found:
Laila Member Name: Laila2g9 (1)
African American / Black, 31,
Single – Never Married (2)
San Antonio, Texas, United States
Personal Details
Gender: Female
Age: 31 (9-Apr-1978)
Race: African American / Black
Marital Status: Single – Never Married
Children: 0
Religion: Christian
Drinking: Non-alcoholic beverages only
Smoking: Never
Food: American
Occupation: Banking / Finance (4)
Education: High school
Languages:
Interests: Arts / Crafts
Cooking
Dancing
Music – Christian / Gospel
Music – Pop / R&B
Religion
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: Brown
Body Type: Athletic / Fit
Height: 5′06″ – (167 cm)
0 photos in album view
General Information
My name is Laila Amidu,I am 31years Old,I am Single (five
years ago) (2), Fair, dark black hair, brown eyes, 5′ 6″, 121
lbs..,L(3)ong Hair and a healthy Lady. I am self-sufficient,
Beautiful, happy, secure, self-confident, psychologically
aware, emotionally and financially secure. and working as a
Waiter In a Local Restaurant (4) ,i email me i will tell u more (5)
my long name is my id and here is my email address
./Laila2g9 /at /yahoo /dot /com/ am Living with my
grandMom.i will tell u more about me (5)
Appearance
My name is Laila Amidu,I am 31years Old,I am Single (five
years ago), Fair, dark black hair, brown eyes, 5′ 6″, 121
lbs..,Long Hair and a healthy Lady. I am self-sufficient,
Beautiful, happy, secure, self-confident, psychologically
aware, emotionally and financially secure. and working as a
Waiter In a Local Restaurant,i email me i will tell u more
my long name is my id and here is my email address
./Laila2g9 /at /yahoo /dot /com/ am Living with my
grandMom.i will tell u more about me
Looking for
i will tell u when we meet onlinei will tell u when (6) we meet
onlinei will tell u when we meet onlinei will tell u when we
meet onlinei will tell u when we meet onlinei will tell u
when we meet onlinei will tell u when we meet onlinei will
tell u when we meet onlinei will tell u when we meet onlinei
will tell u when we meet online
The parts in bold are where we need to look. Look at the numbers I have inserted and let’s go through it one by one.
1. Laila2g9 – google the username. Not just this one, any profile you look at, scammers tend to use the same username on all the sites they join and Laila2g9 is no exception.
Clicking the first link (Matchmaker dating site) we see that Laila still claims to be black African but her photo is a dark haired white skinned lady (bit of a give away), it also looks like a models photo so I would run it through a reverse image search engine. She has also moved from San Antonio to Adrian. On other sites she moves to Massachusetts and even to Ireland, all in the same year because her age never changes.
Also pick out a sentence and google it in quote marks .. I chose a sentence which I knew wasn’t written by the person copying and pasting the profile information … like this “happy, secure, self-confident, psychologically aware, emotionally and financially secure” (the quote marks make google look for the exact same phrase). What I found was a profile for ralleylove on romancescam … please people do a little searching before being scammed.
Sound familiar?
My name is Regina,i am 32 years Old,I am Single (five years ago), Black, dark black hair, brown eyes, 5′ 9″, 141 lbs.,Long Hair and a healthy Lady. I am self-sufficient, Beautiful, happy, secure, self-confident, psychologically aware, emotionally and financially secure. and working as a Waiter In a Local Resturant,am Living with my Mom and Dad in a Logging house
I stopped clicking links at 34 profiles with this same paragraph, they simply changed the name and age (some profiles are for men removing references to lady) … there are actually 16 pages of search results with this same paragraph on various profiles and every one is a scammer.
2. States single never married but then says she has been single for 5 years! People who are seriously looking for a relationship take time to write their profile (good way to find the players too) so this sort of mistake should be taken seriously.
3. Quick quiz … why do scammers so often have capital letters in the middle of sentences? Answer ….. translation software.
It Looks like this, With capital Letters in very Strange Places.
This is something I found out through online discussions with my husband. His first language is Arabic so of course he has to look up some words in a translation tool. Each single word he translates starts with a capital letter.
Try it, go to google translate, translate some basic single words from English to Arabic and back to English. This is what you will see:
Hair
Eyes
Lady
See how they all begin with capital letters … watch out for it on profiles, capitals in the middle of sentences = translation = English not their first language.
4. She works in the banking/finance sector but also as a waiter (not waitress) in a local restaurant .. the global recession must have hit bankers harder than we thought or she can’t remember where she works.
So this lady doesn’t know whether she is single or divorced and is confused about where she works … come on people they are huge red flags.
5. Writing sentences that make no sense within the paragraph. This is simply due to copy and paste. Remember scammers are working in a foreign language so when they are sent a script to copy and paste they have no idea where to start or stop, so they just copy and paste what they see … would you know where the end of a sentence written in Chinese is?
6. Repeating the same thing over and over again Repeating the same thing over and over again Repeating the same thing over and over again Repeating the same thing over and over again Repeating the same thing over and over again – about 90% of the scammers profiles I reject on my dating website have at least one paragraph like this.
If you are chatting to anyone you met online please read 5 tips to spot a nigerian dating scammer, it’s better to give a little offence to a genuine person than get caught by a dating scammer.
Older Women Dating Younger Men | Cougar Dating
What do you think of older women dating younger men? Do you think of cougars, cradle snatchers or women refusing to accept getting older?
I remember more than two decades ago when Friday night at the Casino was known as Grab-a-Granny night, so older women dating younger men is hardly a new concept but is it now becoming more socially acceptable?
As I am slightly more than a decade older than my husband (no secret it’s on my About Me page) it is a subject close to my heart.
I tend to shy away from any internet information discussing the subject, as it tends to be highly stereotypical and rarely written by an older woman dating a younger man.
However, a new survey by a Cougar dating site, Cougared.com, may just blow the lid off the stereotypical older women dating younger men viewpoint and I was delighted when they emailed me a copy of the report.
The report asks some very searching questions like:
How old is the average cougar and what is the typical age gap?
What is the reaction of the guy’s family and friends to her age?
Why is dating men their own age yesterday’s news for cougars?
What kind of relationship are real life cougars really looking for?
You can read the full report here on the Cougared.com website, it makes interesting reading.
What I love about this report is it is written with authority, the information being provided by self confessed Cougars and not a stab in the dark by self proclaimed dating gurus.
The report also reassures me that I am not a typical Cougar … phew, I do hate to be labelled.
Now compare the reports answers to the suggested motivation for cougars provided on this Ezine article written by a dating pro (who writes on many dating subjects), who says:
“While many older men often marry their young girlfriends, cougars are generally not looking for a long term relationship, although sometimes it does happen despite their original intentions. Mostly, they are looking for some fun, both in and out of the bedroom.”
As hideous as that comment sounds it is far less insulting than this eHow article which suggest younger men have to be prepared to be prey and talks about helping them with essays, as if older women are seeking helpless school children … let’s hope that author and I never meet up!!
There is now a report stating “More than 90% of cougars are looking for a serious relationship – a myth-busting finding which shows that cougar women aren’t all just looking for casual fun” which I can point people to when they raise their eyebrows having heard about the age difference between my hubby and I.
I can only speak for myself but lack of commitment is certainly NOT the reasoning behind marrying a younger man and neither is his prowess in the bedroom … we simply fell in love, as any normal couple does.
I am not wealthy, I hadn’t dated a younger man before, we didn’t meet in a bar, I can’t provide my husband with a sumptuous lifestyle and I am far from mutton dressed as lamb … unless lambs have started wearing wellies and comfy knickers!!
Just might have some fun later and answer the survey questions on a blog post.
It all just goes to show that relationships come in many forms, people should not be labelled and it’s way past time that society got past their silly ideas of older women dating younger men.
Online Dating Site Reviews – Can You Trust Them?
Have you searched online for dating site reviews? These are websites who purport to independently review and compare online dating websites but can you trust them?
First we have to understand why dating review sites exist.
They are there to make the review site owner money … and there is nothing wrong with that providing the reviews are fair and impartial.
When someone follows the links from the dating site review and becomes a paying member of a dating site, the review site owner is paid either a one off fee or a percentage of the membership fee.
I repeat, there is nothing wrong with this, the dating site review owner has to put in the time and money to get internet browsers to their review site and the service they offer (if genuine) can stop you joining the wrong dating site.
Where I do have a problem is with review sites who do not even invest 30 minutes of their time to write a review, they simply copy and paste whatever the dating site owners send over. This is not a review, it’s purely an advert.
So let’s have a look at some review sites and decide wether they are review sites or advert sites. To be fair I am simply searching google uk for Online Dating Review Sites and choosing the top four sites in the search results.
I hope this shows you what you need to be looking at when visiting a dating review site and helps you to find real review sites rather than a page full of adverts.
No3 on googles list gets my vote, not because it is the best review site but because it appears to be the most honest. If the owners would add some more information into the reviews then they would be miles ahead of the competition.
No 1 Best4sure
As I am based in the UK I went straight to their UK Dating Sites page. At random I chose the review for the iLove dating site.
I copied a phrase from the section headed ‘Our iLove Review’ and googled it (including quote marks around the phrase to ensure an exact match).
The phrase popped up on a couple of blogs dated from 2005. Now if this is THEIR iLove review then why does the same exact phrase come up on other site review pages?!!
Scrolling to the top of the page I see .. *****latest ilove Uk seems to be no more ! .. so why is it still on the review site if ther dating site is no more (answer – search engine optimisation).
Knowing that even the small ‘Our review’ section is actually written by the dating site I have lost all trust in the review site … next.
No2 Online Dating Reviews
This looks a bit more promising. At random I have clicked the review for Dating for Parents and there are two guest reviews, the second is titled “Paid Members Getting False Reports”. This is what reviews should sound like, a mix of positive and negative.
I click the link to read their review and then click again (at the bottom of the short review) to read the full review (am getting dizzy now). The full review includes difficulties the review staff had registering with the dating website but gave an overall good score – sounds fair and honest.
I was really starting to like this site until I clicked all the review links down the page … there are a lot that simply don’t have a review, making them simple adverts rather than reviews.
I get the impression that the site began with great intentions but over time has lost steam (let’s hope they have made a fortune and are on a beach in Barbados, far too relaxed to write reviews). It’s a shame and I hope next time I visit they have found a new lease of life and completed all the reviews.
Still it’s a good review site to begin your search and I couldn’t find any standard phrases across the net.
No3 The UK Online Dating Review
I will declare an interest in this site … albeit a very small one, as they use this blogs RSS feed for their Dating Advice page but as I believe in honest reviews that is what I shall give and hope my RSS feed doesn’t disappear off their site.
It is centred around the UK. Not simply sites for UK only but also worldwide sites with a high UK membership.
The first review on the page is for eHarmony in UK and the site states “No rating yet, as we don’t have enough feedback”. That suggests honesty to me.
All the information is on one page so you don’t have to chase round the site following links. They also include a mixure of dating site types, from traditional dating sites to speed dating.
However, the reviews are simply too short, I would prefer to read more about the reviewers impressions of the site but you can see the honesty in the short reviews provided.
If you are looking for a UK dating site I would certainly check out The UK Online Dating Review and look out for little comments like “watch for fake profiles”, it certainly gives you a hint of how well the dating site is policed (or not).
No4 Dating Jungle
I’m totally confused by this review site.
I clicked the section for extramarital dating and there are two sites listed (illicitencounters with an overall impression of 6 and Lovinglinks with overall impression of 1 (these scores are out of 10).
Now call me old fashioned but a score of 1 out of 10 has to be a pretty poor review surely?! Yet the overall impression wording states “The design of the site is attractive and makes lovinglinks stand out from other dating services.”
Likewise in the dating site reviews, Dating Direct gets a dreadful 1 out of 10 and yet the overall impression simply says “Impressive are the detailed profiles which optimise your matchmaking success as well as the responsiveness and ease of use of the Site.”
Anyone else confused? I can only assume that the good scores are given to paying sites and the badly scored sites are simply added to encourage you to join the paying sites?! One to be avoided I think.
What Makes The Best Wife in the World?
I was really touched by a comment left by Matt on my article why can’t I find a husband, giving a link to his blog titled “Best Wife in the World”. To date his new blog consists of just one post but what a post, explaining why he has the best wife in the world.
I have never searched the internet for the term “Best Wife in the World” before and was surprised how many web pages contain this phrase.
I feel sure we all remember Tom Cruise and his antics on the Oprah show, declaring his love. This had such an impact in America that urban dictionaries now include the phrase Jump the Couch.
As a Brit we tend to be more reserved about our personal feelings and squirm at such open declarations of love but Americans seem to have none of our reserve when it comes to declaring their love, faith or opinions.
I would die of embarrassment if my husband started a blog declaring me the best wife in the world … and yet, like any human with an ego, I would secretly be immensely flattered.
If you don’t go and read the short blog post I want to share a couple of lines with you.
Matt says “She has endured unbelievable hardship, much caused by me, some caused by “life” in general.”
This statement had such an impact on me. Reading between the lines it shows Matt’s acceptance that he has not been the best husband in the world and yet his wife has endured and continued to try her best to be a good wife.
Matt also tells us “She is the total package of friend, playmate, confidant and lover to me.”
This line in itself should tell us women what is really important to a man in a wife. He does not talk about her weight, her looks or what she wears. A marriage is so much deeper than external appearance and yet some women still believe looks are what it all boils down to.
To be a good wife you need to be devoted, faithful, playful, trusting, energetic, secure, supportive, forgiving and on occasion long suffering.
A tip for MEN … this is not a one way street, we can only continue to be all of these things if you respond in kind and make the effort to play your part in the marriage.
If you read this and think “erm, maybe I haven’t been the best wife or husband” then it’s rarely too late to change your ways, so take a leaf from Matt’s book and start now.
Well done to Matt for recognising his wife’s efforts and I hope you will continue to cherish Jean, now you have recognised just how fantastic she is.
Now I don’t want to burst your bubble Matt but the Big G (Google) will often highly rank a new blog but over a few weeks it will fall into it’s natural place in the search engines … however, if this happens it doesn’t mean you don’t have the Best Wife in the World!!
The Best Relationship Tip | Dating Advice
If you could give just one relationship tip to couples what would it be?
This is a question I was asked recently and finding just one gem of dating advice which covers every couple, whether newly dating or in a long term relationship, wasn’t easy.
I dismissed the dating advice on how to meet someone and fall in love, this often happens naturally, even when we don’t expect it, as doesn’t cover people already in long term relationships.
Much of the relationship advice I would give is for married couples or people in long term relationships, so this doesn’t cover those in the early dating stage.
Hmmmm, one dating tip to cover everyone in a relationship .. ok here it is ….
Never go to bed angry, always make up before you go to sleep.
Whether you live together or apart, always make up after a fight before you both go to sleep.
This isn’t a relationship tip about romance or sentiment, it’s about science.
Sleep experts tell us that while we sleep we file away the days events. Our brains don’t sleep when our bodies do, they process the days events and stabalise our memories.
Stabalising our memories makes them stronger, it’s how we remember things. Think of it like a filing cabinet, as we sleep we file away our memories for future reference.
This means if the girl at the supermarket checkout smiled and was nice to us we will file it away a pleasant experience. Two weeks later you may not consciously think about the pleasant experience in the supermarket but you will find yourself returning to the same supermarket and same checkout girl. Your sub-conscious remembers her as a pleasant experience.
In relationships we all argue sometimes, we say harsh words we really don’t mean and we usually respond in kind.
Think of a time you have gone to sleep angry. Remember as you begin to wake up the next morning feeling great but as you become fully awake you begin to remember the fight yesterday, the hurt feelings and the anger toward your partner?
If the last thing we think about before we sleep is our hurt feelings, a battered self image or feeling unloved then as we sleep those experiences will be filed away and solidified.
On the other hand, if we make the effort to make up (well we know we will eventually so why not do it now) then the last memory we file away about our partners will be pleasant, comforting and loving ones. When we wake up our memories of our partner will be happy and loving.
This doesn’t mean keeping our partner awake until 4am, when they have to get up at 7 for work, analysing every detail of your relationship. Just suck it up, say sorry and make up. Whether you roll over, say sorry and hug your partner or give them a quick call before you sleep, it’s so important not to sleep upset.
There are certain rules for a healthy relationship and also rules for arguing in a relationship which we should all try to put into practice.
Amid the forest of relationship tips and dating advice I really feel this is the one I would like all couples to take on board because it works on a subconscious level and we have no real concept of the damage we can do to our relationships if we go to sleep hurt or angry.
This is my best relationship tip, what’s yours?
The A to Z of Love | E
Entertain. How often do you hear couples talk about the “honeymoon period” of a relationship and what life is like after it is over.
Usually about 6 to 12 months into a serious relationship the magic tarnishes and people can begin to feel a little bored in each others company.
This really is a normal process, as the excitement of getting to know each other drifts into familiarity.
While we are first dating we work hard to entertain each other, to think of funny stories, interesting places to go and how we can present ourselves in the best light.
The most successful long term relationships involve continued effort after the honeymoon period has faded.
You have to continue to admire each other, find the right balance so we neither ignore or smother each other, and remember to regularly compliment each other.
Whether you choose a “date night”, a hobby you can share or just take time to communicate each day. Don’t come home from work every day and just complain, tell your partner if you saw something funny, heard something interesting on the radio or just remembered a good joke.
We often hear people say how much they like a new dating partner because he/she “makes me laugh”. This is entertainment and it is important to keep that aspect of dating alive in a long term relationship.
When you were dating you wouldn’t dream of turning up to a date in sloppy old clothes and either moaning all evening or ignoring your date … so why do it in a long term relationship?
Of course we share our troubles with our partner and we all need some “me” time but don’t let it become a daily habit.
A relationship which is the same old, same old every day, without an element of entertainment, will quickly begin to sour.
Even if you are not in a good financial position (who is in the current recession) a little imagination can produce entertaining but <a href=”http://www.country-couples.co.uk/datingtips/10-inexpensive-dates-%E2%80%93-cheap-date-ideas/” target=”_blank”>cheap dates</a>. Just because you are in a long term relationship doesn’t mean you can stop dating or entertaining each other.
So todays A-Z of love tip is to continue to entertain each other.
Twitter Invaded by Adult Dating Sites
I am not a huge fan of Twitter as I don’t do technology and to be honest I end up spending all day following interesting links and getting no work done.
However, after some time ignoring it and hoping it will go away I decided to give it another whirl tonight and guess what … Twitter has been invaded by adult dating sites.
I logged in tonight to check out the twitter feed of a blogger I particularly enjoy reading (it’s about farming so I won’t bore you with a link).
In my list of friends was a Tweet from Mike at KK Smarts (he’s an adwords guru and a thoroughly nice chap) and being supportive I had a peek and I’m pleased I did.
He has made a video about Tweetdeck showing us less technical people how to use this software. His video is from a business angle but very useful even if you’re just interested in puppies, gardening or limbo dancing.
Ever the student I downloaded Tweetdeck and made great use of the video pause button while I followed Mike’s instructions.
Because I run an online dating site for country people in the UK, write this dating blog and a countryside blog too, I like to stay up to date with what is happening in both the dating industry and the countryside.
Following along with the video I discovered that in Tweetdeck I can create columns and search for Tweets by keywords I enter.
No sooner had I created the search column for “online dating” than tweetdeck started pinging away (must remember to ask Mike how to turn that annoying pinging sound off).
The spam immediately started, at a rate of, on average, 10 Tweets per minute from just one dating site.
Of course all the avatars are of half naked models … and we know how many of those hang out on dating sites in the middle of the night … ahem!!
Most of the Tweets read like this “Indian successful guy 32 years looking for exciting women for kissing” or “Missing some adult fun? S*x makes it better.”
It’s interesting to note that all the male avatars play the “nice guy looking for a woman” card but the female avatars all say “come get some” .. psychology is an amazing advertising tool, I’m sure Mike would agree.
The website in question is tacky online dating site .. ok that’s not the real name and perhaps it’s a nice site if you like no strings encounters but boy they can spam with the best of them.
There are two things worrying me about this site.
First, as soon as I pressed the link the home page announced “members near Edinburgh”. I don’t live anywhere near Edinburgh but because my Twitter and Facebook accounts are linked and Facebook doesn’t have a Cumbria region I ended up ticking Edinburgh. So I’m very curious to know what software this website is using in order to know I am in the Facebook Edinburgh region. It’s just feels like an invasion of my privacy (is there such a thing online?).
Secondly it’s the blantant lying most of these dating sites use. After every Tweet it says “free online adult dating” but of course when you check the site out you soon realise you have to pay to even see all the profiles on the site.
Pure spam, they should go in the spam box with the Nigerian spammers and the letters awarding you £6,000,000 if you just send a cheque for £500.
Although I did have a real giggle when I saw the “report sexually explicit adverts ” button at the bottom of their home page and then went to the join now page (research people, research) and was asked if I give oral or do threesomes (and they are just the questions I could mention on this blog) … gosh nothing sexually explicit about that then!
Of course the site must be making money or they couldn’t afford to pay spammers to drop 10 plus links an hour from numerous Twitter accounts.
It’s just a shame that spammers invade every aspect of our online lives and there is some great dating advice articles linked to on Twitter but of course they just get lost in the spam.
The A to Z of Love | C
Lets continue our journey through the A to Z of Love with the letter C.
The letter A stood for Admire in our A to Z of Love.
We looked at why it’s important to take time to admire your partner both mentally and physically and how this continued practice can help sustain a loving long term relationship.
Then the letter B stood for Balance in our relationships.
We suggested finding a healthy balance between work and home life, between caring for your children and caring for your partner and balancing our own sexual needs and those of our partner.
The letter C stands for Compliment. Whether you are about to go on your first date with someone, have been dating for 6 months or been married for 20 years, it is important to remember to offer sincere compliments occasionally.
If you are in a long term relationship it is really important to offer regular compliments to your partner. Whether you compliment them on a nicely cooked meal, their parenting or work skills, their abilities at a hobby or if you just regularly remind them of one attributes that makes you love them … everyone enjoys being told what makes them special.
We not only have to learn how to give a sincere compliment but also how to receive one.
Rules for offering compliments:
Be sincere
People have built in radars for insincere compliments so don’t just stand around wracking your brains trying to think of anything you can say to offer a compliment. Yes it’s nice if you can offer a compliment when you first greet someone but it’s better to say nothing at first and wait for inspiration to grab you so you sound sincere.
Use Sparingly
If someone compliments you every ten minutes, even if they are being sincere, it becomes meaningless or they begin to look a bit creepy. That doesn’t mean compliments should be reserved for Birthdays and Christmas but keep it to a maximum of one sincere compliment a week.
Be Specific
“You look nice” is a seriously over-used compliment and is pretty meaningless, as is using compliments the person has heard a thousand times before. Compliments should be personal and should make them feel 6 inches taller. “That shirt looks nice on you” should be “That shirt suits you, the colour brings out the blue in your eyes” (he’ll feel great next time he puts that shirt on) and “You look really pretty” should be “That hairstyle really suits your features”. Pick something specific about the person and use that to compliment them for example “You have a really infectious laugh” or “You have a really good eye for colour/art/interior design”.
Be Original
Try to compliment people on personality traits or physical abilities rather than just the way they look. What is it you like about the person, is it the way they love their pets, their kindness to others or can they swim like a fish or sing like a bird? Do they have a great memory or can they finish the daily crossword while you are still on the first clue? These are the compliments that mean the most because looks are not something we can control but personality traits or physical abilities are things we put effort into learning.
Ask a Question
Many people find it very difficult to accept a compliment, so if possible end your compliment with a question to allow them to answer you instead of responding to the compliment. For example “I really admire the time you give to charity work. What got you involved with it?”.
Practice Giving Compliments
Many people find it difficult to give compliments because they don’t do it very often. Learning to give compliments is so simple, whether it’s a shop assistant, dentist, colleague at work or your next door neighbour .. when you think something nice about them simply say it. It’s easier if you start with your own gender. I just love the smile on someones face when I pay them an unexpected compliment and the more you see the reaction to compliments the more you want to do it.
Rules for accepting a compliment
No Negativity
If someone says your hairstyle suits you do not reply with “I think it looks better shorter/longer/a different colour”. If they say your shirt suits you don’t say “It would look better if I lost a few pounds”. Never respond with “Are you blind”. Negatively responding to compliments will deter people from complimenting you in the future and shows your low self esteem.
Say Thank You
Look them in the eye, smile and say thank you.
That’s it, there’s nothing else to graciously accepting a compliment.
5 Dating Tips for Long Distance Relationships
Whether you are in a long distance relationship because you met on an online dating website or because one of you has to travel for work, with just a little effort it’s easy to keep the romance alive in a long distance relationship.
Getting through the days of the week can be difficult when you are missing someone, the secret is to keep yourself busy but also find small ways to include your partner in your day to day life.
Check out these 10 gifts for long distance relationships, which are either free or cost very little and will help to keep you feeling closer.
Here are 5 dating tips for couples in long distance relationships which will help to keep your love alive despite the distance and time apart:
Day to Day Life
If you are in the early days of a long distance relationship (ie after you have met once to ensure you know who you are communicating with) then get to know about each others lives visually.
Each get a usb memory stick and fill it with photographs, these can be of your surrounding area, work, your breakfast, hobbies, new shoes, pets or friends.
Remember your new partner will be fascinated by things you find mundane, so just photograph everything and let them get to know about your day to day life.
Photo Friday
This is the age of technology so let’s use it to have some fun. Every Friday send a text to each other stating what sort of photo you want to see. This can be of your partner with the smallest dog they can find, in the shower with a garden gnome or outside a police station wearing handcuffs.
Your partner then has until Sunday lunchtime to send you the photo. Make up some fun forfeits if your partner fails to get the requested photo. Remember to keep photo albums of your exploits for later years.
Plan a Holiday
Even if you are unable to have a holiday together this year or next due to financial or time limitations, still plan a holiday together for when you are able to go away together. Don’t just decide we’ll go to Greece when we can and forget about it.
When you are apart both spend time exploring different destinations, find out about the history of the area, what there is to see or do, the local food, customs, etc … imagine you’re a travel writer and do a write up. Send each other the destinations you find out about and decide together where you would like to go and explore.
This is not only a way to give you both something to look forward to but is also a great way of learning about your long distance partners likes and dislikes.
Learn a Language
Whether it’s German, Spanish or Mandarin start to learn a new language together and send love notes in the new language.
Don’t just reach for google translate, grab a language book and start with the obvious …. I love you … ich liebe dich … te amo … wo ai ne.
Over time you will progress in the language and therefore in your ability to tell your loved one how you feel. You’ll also have a lot of fun when you get it wrong and say “you’re eyes are like jellied eels”.
Have Fun Together
This may sound obvious but many long term long distance relationships suffer because couples wait until they are together to argue, complain or decorate the spare bedroom.
Your time together is not just to sort out domestic arrangements, it should be an enjoyable time or why should your partner make the effort to travel all that way if it’s just to fight or be nagged all weekend?
Get all of the drudgery out of the way on the telephone or preferably internet (with a webcam so you can read body language) and clear the air before your partner visits you, then relax and have fun when you get time together.
Why Can’t I Find A Husband?
Our mothers and grandmothers didn’t seem to have much trouble finding a husband so why are so many women now complaining they find it almost impossible to find Mr Right?
Time and technology marches on but surely human relationships have remained the same since time began?
Well no, not really.
We only need to look to other cultures to see how different courting rituals are around the world in present days and I do believe we can learn something from arranged marriages but that’s another story.
So has it really become more difficult to find a husband in the past 50 years or have the goal posts simply moved?
Statistics in the UK show that single men outnumber single women by a considerable number, with over a million more single men than women, so why on earth are some women finding it impossible to find a husband?
Here are three reasons your Grandma found a husband but you can’t:
1. The Economy
Our Grandmothers were much more practical people, with “romantic notions” being reserved for the silver screen or a hot cocoa while you read Mills and Boon.
When it came to finding a husband they looked for a provider, a man with a steady income, clean habits and someone their mother approved of. A boring young bank clerk was considered a good catch because he could be a branch manager one day.
Dating opportunities were often limited to the Saturday night dance at the local church hall.
Likewise our Grandfathers grew up knowing they would leave school, find work and then start a family .. it’s just how life went. Playboys were rich and belonged to the upper class.
The economic boom of the eighties and early to mid nineties meant that Steve, the local estate agent, could live a cheap version of a playboys life.
He had his own “bachelor pad”, car, went clubbing every night and could sleep with as many girls as he could cope with (or would say yes) … why on earth would he want to give that up and swap it for a life of nagging and nappies?!
In short our economic situation allowed us to be far more fussy about who we chose as a life partner and therefore limited the number of potential candidates.
2. Technology
I remember my Grandma telling me about my great aunt (the family hussy because she married 4 times), as an actress she went off to Berlin and met, then married husband number three … ooo the shame of it.
For her generation the choice of men was usually limited to their own town or social circle, which limited their expectations.
For us the world is our slimy mollusc, we can now log on to the internet and in seconds be searching dating website databases with a few million members.
But surely that is good news, more people to choose from? Erm, no.
Suddenly the fella down our street seems a lot less attractive when there are chaps out there with sexy French accents or smouldering South American eyes.
So while we sit waiting for Antonio Banderas to come and serenade us Malcolm from down the road met some French tart and went to live in Paris.
We are essentially ignoring what is realistically on offer locally because we’re sure there is something far more exciting on offer in far off lands (or at least in another city).
3. Granny Held Out
My father often jokes about having spent a whole year trying to get his hand up my mothers jumper … bless him, he never managed it but wow did he have fun trying and he couldn’t wait to marry my mother to sample her delights.
Then the sexual revolution hit town and terms like ‘one night stand’ and ‘co-habitation’ entered our vocabulary.
Even my mothers generation had the sense to know you can lead a man anywhere, even to the altar, by his privates.
Just browse the internet and see how many times women ask how long they should wait until they sleep with a man (a week, a month, 3 months) …. our Grandma’s had a simple answer to this question …. until he puts a wedding ring on your finger.
Women’s liberation has given us so many choices, many our Grandmothers would never have thought of but in reality they settled for less and found it easier to find a husband.
We now want the whole nine yards and then sit back and wonder why we can’t find a husband. That doesn’t mean we should all settle for the first person to turn up and ask us on a date but perhaps we should be taking a leaf out of Grandma’s book and being a little more practical about our search for a husband.
Cached at: 2:10:20 AM